Female Body Sizes – The Brutal Truth

  • 0 — deemed in Hollywood as the ‘Perfect Body’ – translation: literally skin and bones. You’re either dead or dying, consult a doctor – or a mortician; see also, Nicole Richie
  • 2 — Eat a fucking cheeseburger, you look like a stick! (P.S. ‘stick’-figures were never sexy in elementary school, and they still aren’t now)
  • 4 — Remember: just because the other kids are doing it doesn’t make anorexia cool – you can’t afford to lose ‘just five more pounds’
  • 6-10 — You’re fine; stop staring at the damn bathroom scale
  • 12-16 — They’re called ‘love handles’, and there’s nothing wrong with them; however you may want to lay off the carbohydrates and saturated fats
  • 18-20+ — Call it “big-boned” all you want, but the clinical term will forever be “obese”; you’ve effectively shortened your life-span by 10-30 years


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